De ce traiesc...

Ca sa va povestesc voua cat de bine ma simt in ultima vreme in pielea mea... Sunt uimit de mine si de comportamentul sentimentelor mele, care dupa atatea sedinte de "cunoastere a sinelui" am inceput in sfarsit sa le controlez si sa pot spune ca nu mai sunt un simplu "om" care a fost parasit. Nu nu... Nu pot decat sa spun ca sunt extrem de fericit ca am luat decizia de a veni in Anglia si a ramane aici. Nimic nu m-a facut sa stau acasa si desi aproape ca m-am intors din motive de slabiciune interioara, am reusit sa le controlez si (mi-)am revenit. Sunt eu, cel care iubeste sa fie iubit. Cel de care in general femeile se indragostesc de felul meu ciudat de a fi si nu de "muschii mei" :)). De gandurile si micile gesturi care transforma momentele banale in unele unice. Incep sa realizez cine sunt si stiu ca este cineva care ma place si vrea sa fiu cu ea mai mult timp... Insa desi a existat si vor mai exista cazuri in care ne vom vedea, nu va fi niciodata nimic serios intre noi. Nu ma intrebati de ce pentru ca desi imi pare extrem de rau nu pot sa ma leg la cap cu prea multe. Am realizat ceea ce am vrut. Am masina pe care mi-am dorit-o cand am venit in Anglia si am reusit sa imi impun target de economisire a banilor. Nu am reusit pana acum sa salvez pt ca daca aveam in cont 1000 de lire nu se putea sa nu ii ajut pe cei in nevoie iar eu sa stau cu banii in buzunar. Insa neavandu-i realizez ca fac astea pt mine. Cand spun ca am realizat ceea ce imi doream nu ma refer strict la a gasi pe cineva sa se indragosteasca de mine si sa o las asa fara sa ii ofer atentie. Pur si simplu d.p.d.v. financiar si profesional. Din pacate inca nu am gasit persoana pe care sa o pot iubi ca sa pot completa si planul sentimental. De exemplu in ultima vreme miros, stiu ca suna ciudat dar imi place sa miros prfumurile clientelor. Si cateodata vreau sa le intreb ce parfum folosesc pentru ca imi place la nebunie cum miroase. Acum trei seri am avut o clienta pe care mai aveam foarte putin sa o intreb insa am ezitat, ca de obicei. Insa promit ca data viitoare sa intreb. Un parfum fin pe o femeie frumoasa te face sa o iubesti o viata intreaga.

Nu vreau sa mai spun un nou incaput ci pur si simplu vreau sa schimb ceva... Ce abordare sa folosesc? Dati-mi ceva idei fetele care citesc blogul meu... Cevar fi cel mai bine sa fac? Sa vin in tara si sa imi caut pe cineva sau sa caut aici? Ma plictisesc groaznic fara o iubita... link catre ceea ce vreau sa tranmit prin muzica...

Forget me?... That's a joke!

Another day without seeing you. You saw my posts and you thought those are for her. Not because I told you so, just because I posted them without telling you. They were for you, some of them and the rest were simply for me. I looked to your face and I understood that you betrayed me when I first met you in the airport. I hoped I misunderstood and I continued to believe in your lies. You said you miss me but it was only because you knew that cheating means you'll gonna pay one day. You hoped you'll gonna lie to yourself as well. You can't! It's Him the one who will remind you that you are doing it the wrong way. When I came to you... I loved you too much and I've tried to forget. You were too proud to recognize that you made a huge mistake. I know you're not happy as well as I know that you didn't find a better one. But you can't say you made a mistake. You are so stubborn that you could even waste your life with him but not say that I'm right. Don't worry your friends, me and our friends we all know it's not a better option! Sorry for being so sincere.

Freamat de iubire

Cand vine noaptea ma apuca dorul de tot ceea ce a fost, de ceea ce ar fi putut fi.

Si trece noapte, trece zi si dorul de tine nu trece nici cand oi muri. Si ma gandesc la tine si tu esti raza de lumina, umbra de intuneric. Esti clipe de iubire, moment de fericire, esti fluture-n zare, uliu

in pustiu.Esti gand pierdut in treacat de iubire, esti "Ea" o clipa, o zi, o vara de-amagire. Da! Stiu ca doare sa ma gandesc la tine, insa nu pot sa trec peste aceste clipe de iubire. Ma freamat, gandindu-ma la tine, sperand ca voi intelege unde-am gresit. De ce nu te pot avea aici, acuma langa mine?

Este bine... Sa recunosti realitatea!!!

Citeam astazi printre randurile mici, scurte si rare - pentru ca altfel nu am timp - o postare a unei asa zise prietene de pe Facebook in care scria foarte "fericita" ca este foarte bine sa fii single. Aveti aici si linkul atasat. Hai sa fim seriosi. Toate fetele sunt innebunite de mici sa fie mireasa, ceea ce automat implica si o relatie si un partener(stabil evident). Dar ea nu si nu. Adevarul? Va spun eu adevarul. Colega XXX a fost single in ultimii 3 ani si jumate si nici macar nu a intretinut relatii sexuale.

De ce? Pentru ca ea, ca toate celelalte fete cochete nu are nevoie de barbati in viata ei. Da! pana la un punct. Ea este de acord ca nu iubeste, ca nu simte nevoia arzatoare care te cuprinde - cel putin saptamanal - in suflet de o partida nebuna de sex. Ca ei nu ii trebuie cineva langa care sa adoarma noaptea. Ca ea nu simte nimic cand trece un barbat sarmant pe langa ea. Ca ea nu este deloc flatata, cand un barbat ii pune mana pe sold si lejer, coboara incet-incet sa vada ce se intampla catre fesele ei. Si mai apoi se strecoara fara pic de rusine catre ceea ce isi doreste orice barbat. Ea este puternica si poate oricand sa iti spuna: "Pleaca!" Ea nu ar face nimic din ceea ce nu vrea si nici nu ai cum sa o obligi sa faca acel lucru. De ce? Raspunsul este aici! Pentru ca nu trebuie sa faci aceste lucruri nici pe ascuns, nici incet si nici cu teama ca vei primi o palma peste ochi. Ea, va cobora cu tine deodata si va accelera la un moment dat gesturile pe care tu le faci, chiar daca tu nu ai vrea sa mergi chiar atat de departe. Ea nu ar fi dat niciodata un exam oral dar pentru ca tot v-ati imprietenit acum de ce sa nu invete. Nu va ganditi ca eu incerc sa imi imaginez aceste lucruri! Nu, nu... Acestea sunt doar realitati din viata, care s-au petrecut insa cu ceva timp in urma. Dupa prima data, dupa prima atingere a fost ca un uragan pe care nu il mai puteai opri. Si nu am facut nimic special si nu i-am oferit nici un fel de sansa ca va fi ceva, vreodata intre noi. Ba mai degraba i-am spus clar ca nu va fi nimic intre noi si ea a spun ca este de acord. Chiar si dupa asta ea a continuat sa se implice si sa incerce sa faca totul posibil ca acele mici greseli sa se repete. Recunoasteti fetelor chiar daca sunteti timide si nu vreti sa dati si voi un semn cum ca sunteti innebunite dupa barbati si mai ales dupa jucaria XXX, ca vreti mai mult ca orice pe cineva mereu alaturi care sa va ofere siguranta si stabilitate. Sau macar nu va mai bateti cu pumnii in piept ca va place ideea de a fi single. Ceea ce dupa parerea mea este cam urlet de femeie usoara care vrea sa se culce cu cat mai multi tipi intr-un timp cat mai scurt. Sau poate ca defapt asta vor toate femeile si eu nu am inteles? Tot ce se poate... O seara buna voua cititorilor mei. Nu multi dar nu numarul ci calitatea conteaza.

Night out with/without my stripper

She didn't called me but instead of it she came into the hotel next day. It was her brother's birthday.I couldn't believe she came there but she said she didn't make it in purpose. She booked it in advance. I went to the reception and checked for all this details and the answer was that she booked that room a few hours ago. But anyhow she didn't knew where I work. I've served them and I brought some cocktails and he said it was great! He was a Bar Manager in Sussex not too far from London: "A four star hotel and spa just like yours!". I felt something wasn't quite right and I asked if the room is twin or double. Guess what... It was a twin room! So they were not lying she was his sister. Good enough till there. But the problem was that I didn't really wanted to do more even if he asked me what time do we finish there. Finally I've decided to go out so I went home, get changed and went back to the hotel. They were there both of them but they were already drunk. One thing that I hate the most in special to women. I've decided anyway to go out with or without them. I rang my sister and she came with her boyfriend and we all went out. Unfortunately it wasn't such a great night but at least I've done what I wanted exactly as I've decided to do! I love so can't commit! Who is the one that I love? You should know if you know me... That too make sure You understand I'm not that kind of guy!

Stripper but richest

There was a time... When I used to deal with this kind of things! When I first met her I can remember her as it was a few moments ago. She was absolutely perfect. A beautiful smile, angel eyes, black long hair... She was staying there in her corner alone, with a pen and her note. I watched her a while and after that I realized she was the one. My colleague came and had a chat. At all the time she was righting something but I didn't knew what. It wasn't a simple meeting but still I couldn't see anything else but her. I left him there talking and I went to her asking if I can join that table. She said yes and that's when everything started. We've started to talk to each other about what we do and what were we doing there. She was a club stripper and she was writing the choreography for her team. I've been amazed on how she looked like and how she did that choreography. Based on different cultural dances, including biblic signs and fortune tellers habits. She was going to present it during the big opening of a new Night Club not too far from my home. Seeing this I've realised how intelligent she was although she was a stripper. She wasn't doing that for money but for her own company. 21 year old and one of the richest person in the town. I had to go back to the hotel where I thought about her all the time. But I left her my phone number... Is she going to call me?