Criticat

A fost un final de saptamana complicat si un inceput de saptamana dezamagitor. Pe langa faptul ca nu am reusit sa imi revin fizic complet, am pierdut ocazia de a iesi cu o colega in oras. Hai ca femei mai gasesc, dar cand incepi sa vezi lumea din jurul tau ca te dispretuieste iti vine sa iti iei campii si sa pleci! Sa pleci departe unde nu te mai cunoaste nimeni de unde poti incepe totul de la zero. Nu mai vreau sa vad oameni care imi spun ca ii disper ca fac tot posibilul sa ii ajut, nu mai vreau sa se rasteasca la mine pentru chestii minore insa se pare ca am devenit bataia de joc a multor oameni... Si ce imi pare mai rau, este ca sunt oameni de "cacat" cum ar zice cumatrul Giani. Nu stiu ce sa mai cred despre mine insumi. Promisiuni peste promisiuni de la munca si dupa doua luni de zile tot cu nimic m-am ales. Dar asta este, m-am alarmat degeaba si am sperat in spusele sefilor. Daca eu gresesc imi cer scuze si ma retrag. Sincer spun ma retrag. Insa mai am un singur proiect de finalizat si apoi va fi ori eu ori ei! Ca nu m-a nascut mama in Anglia si nici cu bani f multi sa zic ca nu as putea sa traiesc in Romania. Of Romania daca ma crezi as vrea sa merg acasa numai ca sa locuiesc in Magura... Sa fac un mare business acolo cu ferma si pensiune. Dar stii cum este de la a spune pana la a face este mult si cum eu ma pricep la multe cred ca mi-as putea gasi ceva de lucru imediat... Of dar iubirea??? Chiar asa urat oi fi??? Sau este de vina comportamentul meu? Nu stiu ce vreau si evident ca nu mai stiu ce pot! Daca vin in tara imi va fi greu sa ma acomodez... Dar macar acolo am unul sau doi oameni care ma fac sa ma simt bine. Of Doamne... Am ajuns sa ma gandesc din nou la intoarcerea acasa... Ce soarta cruda si nemiloasa am... Hai sa terminam cu prostiile si sa vb despre altceva... Stiti ca vreau sa-mi iau casa??? Si imi iau... Dar nu azi... Insa dupa ce imi fac acte pe numele meu voi spune tuturor ce si cum... Daca va fi cineva interesat desigur! Mi-e dor de trupa de soc... Care si daca ma intorc acasa tot nu mai este intreaga... Si de Minisat... Nu de o pers de acolo... Ci de atmosfera feerica care se raspandea in aer si in sufletele noastre. Imi pare rau ca unii nu inteleg ca imi pasa... Ca altii cred ca sunt snob... Si altii sunt suparati ca imi doresc si eu odata in viata sa imi primesc banii inapoi... O dulce viata ce bine si usor as fi trait daca nu dadeam nimic nimanui... Sanatate si fericire atat va spun!!!

Revenire

Stiu cat de greu este sa traiesti singur si sa nu ai pe nimeni alaturi... Pe nimeni din familia ta, care la o adica ar face orice pt tine. Sunt aici pt ca asta mi-am dorit si asta trebuie sa fac. Ma bucur ca au intrat in viata mea si alte persoane decat cele obisnuite... Acum eu plec... Insa gandurile imi vor ramane la aceasta postare... Mi-e somn... Mi-e sete de a mea colega careia nu i-am spus nicicand ca o mai vreau inca odata...

The story of my life... Begins now!

Today, I am afraid to go to sleep. I know the will only make the hours pass faster, far from the one I love, the one I want to kiss, to hug to say hello every morning. But this is what I am. But today we won't talk about her... Today I will make my mind where my life goes... If I get no respect today, I will leave. There will be no reason to stay anymore. I know who I am, I know what I can do and I know that there are not many like me. I also know that there is a time when you have to move on. It's just that I don't want to give up on people that I care about. But if today they prove that they don't care about me, I will walk out. I had a dream and I hoped it will come true. there is no chance the whole of it to become real but I will live my life trying to complete the task that I still can do. I'm not a stranger and I am not alone. There is someone who will one day love me and trust me. I hope at least! What will happen today? God I have to grow up and face the reality; But I don't want to! I should go to sleep, wake up in the morning breath deep and relax. It's time to move, time to conquer, time to become the one I should have been and time to move on!

Ochii oceanului

As fi vrut sa poti simti ce am simtit eu pentru tine si sa intelegi de ce sunt atat de suparat ca ai plecat si m-ai lasat singur... Nu plecarea dintr-un punct fix rezuma o porblema ci multiplicarea posibilitatilor... Eu sunt si exist aici, tu esti acolo departe si inca nu m-ar fi facut asta sa renunt la a te iubi. Sa plec si sa imi vad de viata mea ar fi fost un fleac dar cu totii stim ca nu era ceea ce imi doream. M-as fi mutat cu tine si as fi facut inconjurul lumii pt tine insa tu te-ai speriat si ai plecat. Nu mai inteleg cum sa mai vad in privirea ta sufletul... Esti stana si ajung sa imi implor zeul sa te intoarca la viata. Acum stiu ce faci si cum, dar vreau sa ma aduci la viata!!! Salveaza-ma de mine insumi si redami libertatea de a trai! Nu mai am suflet, trup sau ganduri... Sunt inghetat, nu am trai si sper sa ajung la mal pentru a putea innota mai departe... Cheama-ma si spune-mi numele, striga-mi Libertatea... Acorda-mi viata si lasa-ma sa fiu cineva... Sunt gol pe dinauntru si asta pentru ca te iubesc. Ochii cerului... Cine s-ar fi gandit vreodata ca am sa iubesc pe cineva cu ochi "caprui"??? Ochii sufletului meu!

Eu vs Ele

Vi s-a intamplat vreodata sa va placa o persoana, sa oferiti si sa incercati sa faceti totul ca acea persoana sa fie langa voi insa ea, acea persoana sa se sperie si sa fuga in neant? Acest moment cumplit din viata mea incepe sa se tot adanceasca si parca nu mai scap de el. Nici o fata de care imi place, cu exceptia uneia, nu vrea sa fie in preajma mea. Incep acum, incet incet sa imi fac griji. Sunt eu un ciudat? Sunt eu chiar atat de dificil? Trebuie sa fiu eu cel care greseste... Hm... sunt tare curios ce-mi rezerva viitorul...

She deserves it!!!

I love the way you are, the way you smile. You are the one to make it bright. I will do try do do it right even though you know I am a lonely guy. Don't wait for me go live your life, I will do find another heart, to love to smile to beat for once. You are so beautiful you are, you rise and shine when I wake up I see you daily even though you are away I know you know. I smile to you you smile me back but you don't mean it just like that. You want to see to feel it right into your heart to make things right. They are around will see you smile and you will run and cry for none. There are no reason to ignore the feelings that they have become a nature you have always been, a sensitive and gorgeous wow... She is here now... Don't take me wrong but she deserves to have a chance to what you don't, Believe that I will be the one for you!!!

London - Center of culture in UK

There are so many things in my mind at this time... but it's late and I want to tell you dear reader that I am very happy lately. I've decided a couple of weeks ago to travel to London for three days. At least that was my will. It didn't happened because I had to work on Wednesday. But I left Lavister on Monday and I said to myself that I will definitely enjoy those days. I drove relaxed till there like never happened before and when I get there I was welcomed and I felt like in heaven. My friends they were very nice with me and I felt like being home. All the time that I spent with them I was happy, smiling and it was like every moment I was recharging my batteries. We went out for a drink and I enjoyed even that Jack and the beer after it. The food tasted different, the time passed different and everything was making me feel good. The next day we went for the sake of culture in a couple of museum's were I was so excited that I even lost one of the magnets that I bought earlier. And you know how much I love the fridge magnets... Well it didn't made any difference because I've been there and I've felt like it was a sacrilege for culture. It is beautiful to see that there is culture if you look for it and there are still some signs written down on paper, painted or even sculpted in marble or gold... The signs, the information is there for us to recover it... Next day I met an old friend... A great friend which I missed a lot and I really enjoyed seeing her even if it was only for a couple of hours. She was the same as always exactly how I left her. Gorgeous was my thought, happy was my heart but my lips they were always shut. I wanted to remember the time when we were younger, to have that Drive Thru were I always had the same Double Cheeseburger Meal Large, but she wanted to go for a beer. I was more than happy to see and talk to her I didn't cared about the past everything happened in present. I don't need to live in the past anymore so she was right. We spoke about a lot of things, moments in our lives but also about what is happening in the present and future. She spoke so nice about me and I was thinking: "Is she really talking about me?" But yes that is the real me. Why should I stick to a simple life when I can do so many things? I want to change a couple of things in my life and I think that my friend from London which is a great girl and great friend will help me to do so. Thanks you again and hope I didn't upset you at all!!!