Again

I thought about what I feel today. And it was love. I love so much that it hurts me. I am sometimes thinking even to go away far from where I am now. To move into a different place where I might meet people to chat with and go out with. The place where I work now it's somehow making me nervous. I love the job, the team(sometimes), but it makes me go crazy when I'm thinking that I can't really find anyone for myself in there... Never mind... What's mine it's well kept on a side... Isn't it?

I simply went to bathrooms and... What can I see? It's snowing outside! Incredible indeed I simply walked out in my short and smiled to the sky while I was listening to my beloved playlist from when I came to England. I love this night and I don't regret spending this time to see the snow melting on my hand... I love everything that God gave me in this moment, this is a sign...

It's time to...

It's so complicated for me to understand what I should do next. I know that I'm not very happy with what I am now but I also know that if I want another kind of life I need to leave the company. Well the problem is... I really enjoy what I am doing with all bits and bobs... All the argues and all its mess it makes it sometimes enjoyable. Today I've decided to finish what I have to do for myself and the others for some other time. I want to try to be better. I'm not the best friend in the world, I'm not the best family member in the world but today, today I want to fly away from helping the others and I will try to help myself. Today is the day when I will do what ever my thoughts will guide me. I might get to call someone, I might even fly to Romania. I will try though to stop loving Her. It's the last bit and it's simply impossible, almost impossible for me to do it. I want to buy a new car but nothing it's likely to impress me that much. I feel already the pain in the chest in because of the loneliness... No it's clear I made a huge mistake in my life... God forgive me and give me my life back otherwise I will go crazy...